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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the comfort zone for daily publications, and publications remain attentive to significant toilet tales and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to discover that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet in his house. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom rather too directly, and had to be saved from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity playing for City, the Italian striker entered a community college to use the facilities in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback by Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. According to Davies' personal account, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet troubled England locker room directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I closed the door after us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably over the past twenty-five years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Live Updates

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We were Europe’s best referees, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Quiet and watchful” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|